Guys Do It All The Time
by VampQueenV
Summary: Guys do it all the time.Songfic. Artist Mindy McCready


Guys Do It All the Time

"Where the fuck are they?" Growled Logan as he paced the floor. Chewing on his cigar, he turned to the group.

"How long does it take to see a fuckin' movie?"

Bobby was the first to answer, "Maybe they got something to eat afterwards."

"They've been gone since half-past one this afternoon, it's now a quarter to four in the morning, I seriously doubt that it takes more than half a day to watch a film and eat a meal." Said Scott.

"You don't suppose something's happened to them, do you?" Asked a concerned Hank, "The anti-mutant feeling is growing." He added, fearing the worst.

"Fuck this." Said Logan, stalking out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Asked Scott.

"To look for them, I ain't waiting waiting around like some pansy."

Remy agreed, "Oui, Remy wit' you dere, Wolverine." He said, following Logan out as Scott, Hank and Bobby fell in behind.

Approaching the front door, Logan stopped; his enhanced senses picking up the sound of women giggling.

"Shush, they'll hear us."

"Hurry up and open the door."

"I can't, its broken… the key won't fit in it's little hole." Growling, Logan yanked open the door just in time to watch Jean and Rogue fall into the foyer; landing in a tangled heap on the floor.

The two women collapsed into hysterics.

Hoisting them up, Logan barked, "Where the fuck have you been?!"

"Movies…" Rogue answered, swaying slightly.

"They don't sell alcohol at the movies." Scott informed her.

"No… but they do in bars." Hiccupped Ro'.

"And clubs." Added Kitty, slurring.

"I do believe you're drunk." Hank said, lifting Ro' up.

"Drunk is such a strong word, I'd prefer… tipsy." She replied from behind his back.

"Toasted even." Kitty offered.

"Shit-faced!" Jubilee blurted out, causing all five women to bust out laughing once more.

"It's a side affect of the alcohol," Jean stated, surveying the men, "and that's my medical opinion."

"This is fuckin' unbelievable!" Logan ground out.

"We've been waiting around for hours, worried that something happened to you, and all this time you've been at a bar getting drunk?!" Scott raged, "And not one of you thought to call?!" He berated, grabbing a hold of Jean who had since passed out.

"Ah'm going to bed." Rogue interrupted, staggering to the staircase; the other women followed.

Passing behind Logan, Rogue gave him a light slap on his backside, "Night sugah'." She teased, continuing up the stairs.

Breakfast the following morning was a tense affair, with the men still furious and the women nursing hangovers. Professor Xavier, who was amused by it all, decided that it would be the perfect time to remind them about the school talent show.

"As you all know, this coming Friday is the Annual Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters talent show. As is custom, the teachers will all be performing… you too Logan. I hope you all have your acts prepared."

"Yes sir, in fact this year myself, Rogue, Ro', Kitty and Jubilee have decided to join forces… we've all been practicing." Jean told The Professor.

"Oh? What will the five of you be doing?" He asked, sipping his cup of tea.

"Probably chugging beer on stage." Bobby snarked .

"Well, we certainly got enough practice doing that last night." Rogue told him.

The Professor smiled knowingly, "Whatever you have planned, I'm sure it will be entertaining."

Over the next few days, the tension at Xavier's continued to escalate until the students began watching their teachers instead of TV.

Friday afternoon found Xavier's in a whirl. The students, who were all given free periods, practiced for the talent show that evening. Logan, Scott, Hank, Remy and Bobby helped build the stage in the big hall; home of the night's show.

A shirtless Logan was making more than one girl swoon while holding up a piece of staging as Hank nailed it in place. Remy set up the lighting and Scott acted as foreman; bossing everyone around and pissing them off at the same time. Bobby, who'd been given the easiest job of them all, struggled with the curtains.

"Yer' supposed to hang the thing Popsicle, not fight it to death." Laughed, Logan.

Throwing the long red fabric down, Bobby huffed, "It's not my fault, this curtains like 90ft and I don't have anyone to help me."

"Go ask one of the girls." Scott said, nailing together the stage platform.

"I would, but they disappeared."

Putting down the hammer he was holding, Scott called out to the other students, "Have you guys seen Dr. Grey?"

"Yes, Mr. Summers." Came a timid reply from a younger student by the name of Raine, "She's in the wreck room with Ms. Munroe, Pryde, Lee and Rogue."

Watching the young girl walk away, Scott turned to the other men, "What the fuck are they doing in the wreck room?" Logan asked, "they should be helping us get this place ready."

"Let's go find out." Scott said, taking his hard hat off before heading to the door. Hank, Logan, Remy and Bobby dropped their tools and followed, all the while Logan muttered something about pansies wearing hard hats to nail a bit of plywood.

The men walked in on Rogue, Jean, Ro', Kitty and Jubilee sitting around and drinking beer.

Looking up at her irate husband, Jean asked, "Scott, honey, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He mimicked, "You guys were supposed to help decorate the hall for tonight's show. We've been working our asses off while you've been sitting around drinking."

"Relax Scott."

"Yeah, chill dude it's no biggie. Besides, we ain't been sittin' around here the whole time, we spent a couple hours helping Rogue wash the Jeep."

Logan surveyed the group, snarling, "You five better get yours asses down-"

Interrupting, Rogue put a hand up to quiet him, "Later. Right now we're watching the game."

Logan stalked out of the room cursing up a blue streak.

"Hey Scott, pass us a beer will ya'?" Asked Kitty.

Shaking his head, Scott stormed out of the room.

That night, as Scott huffed about the room he and Jean shared, he tripped over a pair of her shoes.

"Dammit' Jean! Will you pick up your clothes!"

Jean merely brushed passed him as she put on her earrings, "Cant. Gotta' go meet the girls."

Professor Xavier wheeled himself onto the big hall's stage, greeting the audience, "Welcome students, faculty and staff to the 17th Annual Xavier's School for the Gifted talent show. I will not bore anyone with lengthy introductions, as I am sure that you are all very eager to see tonight's performances. First up, is Internationally renowned Geneticist and head of the Sciences and Mathematics Department here at Xavier's, Dr. Henry McCoy.

There was a thunder of applause as Hank bounced out onto the stage, juggling lab equipment… props, of course.

Remy entertained the audience with card tricks, trying hard not to strangle Jubilee who kept shouting, "He's cheating, it's up his sleeve!"

Following Remy was Bobby, who decided to dazzle the school with his magic act, but instead left everyone in stitches thanks to an uncooperative rabbit.

Following Bobby was Kurt, who performed an acrobatic ensemble to German Techno music.

Up next was Scott's dramatic reading of Shakespeare's Macbeth; complete with heckling from Rogue, who for some strange reason kept demanding vengeance.

Logan simply growled at everyone shirtless and caused more than one girl to faint.

With just the final act to go, Professor Xavier motioned for Scott, Logan, Remy, Hank and Bobby to take their seats in the front row, before allowing the show to continue.

Co-host Jamie Maddrox stepped on stage, winking at various girls in the crowd, "Alright boys and girls, for our last act of the evening, we have five very sinful divas otherwise known as… Ladies X!"

The curtains rose and the lights came up to reveal Rogue, Ro', Jean, Kitty and Jubilee all dressed in knee-length skirts, matching gloves, and color coordinated eye-liner. They each pointed their mics in the direction of their respective men.

As the music started to play, Rogue and Ro' lifted there mics up to sing:

Got in this morning at 4 AM,

You're as mad as you can be.

Well, I was drinking and talking

And you know how that goes,

Time just slipped away from me.

By the time I knew what time it was,

It was to late to call home.

Stop carrying on and acting like a child,

I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Joining in, the rest sang the chorus:

Guys do it all the time

And you expect us to understand.

When the shoe's on the other foot,

You know that's when it hits the fan.

Get over it honey, life's a two way street.

Or you won't be a man of mine.

So I had some beers with the girls last night,

Guys do it all the time.

Taking over, Jean and Jubilee rang in the next verse:

I know I left my clothes all over the place

And I took your twenty bucks.

No, I didn't get the front yard cut,

Cause I had to wash my truck.

Rogue joined Jean and Jubilee:

Will you bring me a cold one baby?

Turn on the TV.

We'll talk about this later,

There's a ballgame I wanna see.

All five of the girls sang the chorus:

Guys do it all the time

And you expect us to understand.

When the shoe's on the other foot,

You know that's when it hits the fan.

Get over it honey, life's a two way street.

Or you won't be a man of mine.

So I had some beers with the girls last night,

Guys do it all the time.

Kitty and Ro' started the last verse:

You look like you just took

A long look in the mirror.

Tell me baby, if things don't look

A whole lot clearer, ooh…

Before all five ended the song:

Get over it honey, life's a two way street.

Or you won't be a man of mine.

So I had some beers with the girls last night,

Guys do it all the time.

Yeah guys do it,

Yeah guys do it.

All the time, all the time…

As the girls finished singing, the place erupted into applause. Taking a bow, they all looked to the front row where The Professor sat thoroughly amused, and next to him were five men who didn't know whether to laugh or cry; having been played so effetely.

Rogue walked off stage towards Logan, "Enjoy the show sugah'?" She asked him.

Laughing, Logan scooped her up into his arms; giving Rogue a kiss before her skin had any time to react.

"Very nice darlin'." He told her, before adding, "Point taken."

"We both know this won't teach you shit." Rogue answered.

Agreeing, Logan smirked, "Sorry, but this dog's too old to learn new tricks."

"Well sugah', ya' better learn how to roll over and play nice, or ya' might find yaself sleepin' in the doghouse." And with that, she walked away.

Looking around, Logan saw Scott begging Jean, Remy trying to sweet talk Jubilee, Bobby giving Kitty his best puppy-dog eyes and Hank all but proposing to Ro'.

Eyeing the exit where his little spitfire had stalked out, Logan ran a hand through his hair before chasing her; planning to do a little groveling of his own.


End file.
